Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Two filled poetry journals..
They are not all about the same thing
As I thought they would be
I need to go over them again
They give me strength
Ehh...I am writing in poetry again
Oh well. =P

As I was writing, the poetry I have written surprises me. Don't you ever have those moments where you step back to examine your life and you are just amazed at how much you have changed and grown? Well I have those almost every time I pause to look at my life. I just can't thank God enough for saving my life, for showing me the world, for giving me the strength to live on and to be independent, the strength to believe in myself, despite the circumstances, and for reaching out to me when I reached out to Him. I can still remember the light that I saw when He saved me...even if it wasn't a specific moment in time in which I became a true believer but still the same when I think back to those hard times, I see the light that reached me in my darkness. I owe my life to Him and I can't give up because I won't let my mother's and Carmelita's sacrifices go to waste. I cannot give up against the current that takes everybody else so easily. I seek Wisdom and its knowledge, but at the same time, I am human, and so I must allow myself my moments of weakness for if I do not then I will have a break down. Here I should be writing my paper already but I have to do this to clear my mind. It is a sad and lonely blog that no one seems to make comments but I enjoy this ... for reasons that I cannot explain. What logic is it that compels us to post our thoughts to the mercy of the world? I guess I hope to spark a conversation with someone, even if my thoughts aren't as philosophic as Aristotle's but I like to enjoy my life thank you very much. I have already contemplated my existence and decided that reality is just perception. No, I will not elaborate on that. I will elaborate though on the fact that love is something that should be called a phenomenon because it cannot be explained by the laws of physics, Einstein will back me up on this too. I have thrown all caution to the wind and put away all reasons. The train's horn blows its last noise as I proclaim that I will not give up on my hope. I cling on to hope like lint clings to clothes. It is part of me this everlasting hope and optimism and I will not change that. Unfortunately that means that in order to move on, I must face brutal honesty and destruction. However, I have come to believe from personal experience that what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. The question is can you endure the trials, because I was only able to survive with God's help and perhaps because my will to live was made stronger also by Him. Soo this blog is basically about nothing. Sorry for the disappointment (not) =P.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Oh wretched Single's Awareness Day..

That dreadful holiday that was once good
But now is bad
Because of commercialization
How I loathe thee
Yet on this day
I reach a reprieve
I won't allow you
To ruin my day
I don't care
For those together
I only live my life
For my God
And myself
If it be His will
Then let it be so
Otherwise leave me
In peace.