Saturday, July 29, 2006

TV's should be taken out of hospital rooms...

Soo I am sick for the first time all summer. This sickness seems to be divinely given because 3 days ago I was perfectly fine but only when I arrived at my second bff's house did I suddenly seem to get ill. Well, despite a harsh sore throat, I was still able to go hiking in Las Cruces as planned with the aid of lots of water. Seriously, if God hadn't reminded me that drinking lots of fluids would help you, I would be soo sick right now that I would have no voice nor be able to eat comfortably. While my voice is still slowly being affected, I atleast have no sore throat just lots of congestion and coughing.
Today I woke up and felt my throat being clogged by whatever germs and bad stuff is causing me to be sick but it slowly diminished as the day wore on. However, I decided today I should play it safe and rest at home. How did I spend my time resting, by watching TV almost non-stop for the first time in months. Never again shall I do that, I got a huge migraine that still persists. I am now thoroughly persuaded that TV is horrible for your health, why else do you get headaches after watching something for so long. I am soo glad that I am not addicted to TV as much as I used to be when I was young. I am thoroughly convinced that TV made my youth that much more difficult to get through with its addicting qualities and poor lifestyle forming habits.
One good news is that it has been raining again here and I just feel so glad for that because it had been so dry and hot that my mom's pomegranite tree dried out from lacking of water over the course of a week (when we were out of town and my father being a bum didn't bother to water the plants even though my mom told him every time we called home) even though it was under the shade of one of our backyard trees, away from direct sunlight. Ayy, I really don't enjoy living in such a dry hot area. I mean I am an aquarian afterall. Somedays rain makes all the difference of having a good day or bad day.
Oh I am so ready for school to start. I am excited about my new job as a middle school mentor as well as being nervous too but as my cousin's wife tells me, never underestimate yourself and your abilities. If you tell yourself that you won't succeed then you are already setting yourself up for it but you should never be afraid to atleast try. I am also hoping to really focus this semester on my grades. I need to get back in the groove. I miss math and english. It feels so good when I can do an excellent job on my work and prove that I am intellegent and responsible and so thats my goal this year. I know I can do so much better than I did last year, and if I want to get into Cornell for grad school I got to show my true colors. I also hope to become independent from my parents soon because I really don't appreciate my father's sense of humor. It really is frustrating when one comes to rest here but all he does is nag that you don't do anything when he is even worse. However, if I am to pay for my own graduate school education I will atleast need to be making 4,000 dollars a month by that time. I am not even sure I want to study abroad anymore because I feel I am getting too sidetracked from my dream of being an architect. I just feel like I am in one of those dreams where even though you are running, the goal just keeps getting farther. I miss school, I am just a lover of all things scholastic.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Raining elsewhere but here
Struggling to stand up
I reach for the sky
The stars twinkle at me
The rain drops fall silently
Like the tears
I cannot express
As I stare up
Into the hole in the clouds
That becomes my heart.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy Independence Day everyone!

Well another holiday has come and gone, this one marking the middle of summer vacations. One more month until school resumes. I am not sure whether I should be happy or sad; happy that I won't have to be dealing with nagging parents anymore that complain I spend too much or sad that vacations are ending. However, as much as I slept, the waking hours I had weren't too great and overweighed my sleep causing me to want to sleep more. I atleast have worked on my summer reading and been able to see my friends but I think it is time for me to move on up the ladder of life and become independent since they don't appreciate me being home.

Change is inevitable. Change happens every second of existence from conception to death. In some ways I haven't changed but in other ways I think I have, that is I have changed for the better. However, it's not just personal change that happens but everything changes around you. You think the world is constant but it isn't at all. It changes at the same pace as you do. Things that I thought would never have changed like the city and my neighborhood. They have and continue to change but just like growing up...these changes are very subtle.

I thought I could come home more often but the truth is that staying home only inhibits me more than helps me. I end up regressing because I have to deal with one lousy father who has stayed behind in the past from cowardice and thus never grew up and never got with the program. It's a good thing that I actually like change, otherwise I might have ended up like him. I wish he would grow up though but that would be a miracle and take a long time to happen. I don't know why or how my brother puts up with him but I cannot. He goes against everything that represents my identity and what I value as important things. Well, atleast now I know what to avoid in guys.