Wednesday, June 13, 2007

So I have been thinking lately, as I haven't been able to sleep because of these thoughts:
I have high standards for guys but I refuse to lower them for any guy. I won't date unless the guy has the right motives. I don't mind him being normal except I am not normal. So why would I choose to date a guy who won't even be able to understand my abnormal personality and my random thoughts. I want a guy who can understand that. Secondly, I am trying my best to be the best person I can be and if a guy is a bad influence on me then that would just be like giving up on a very important dream, so I want a guy who is on the same page with me on that. Thirdly, I being a weird person needs someone to keep me amused. I need to laugh. I have lived with serious people all my life and let me tell you I have enough seriousness with them. I am one who believes in staying young at heart but being mature when the situation calls for it. So if the guy can't make me laugh then I will quickly lose interest. Lastly, I need a guy who will make me feel like I am Helen of Troy. I am tired of being treated with less priority than a girlfriend. I don't expect all your time but I do expect that you can spend some time with me. I expect a give and take, I am your girl-friend and thus I do expect that you open up to me and lean on me as I will lean on you. I will compromise but I won't sacrifice for you. I want to feel like you can't live without me and that I make you happy as well. I don't want to hear about other women or your ex-girlfriends. I know you have a past (so do I) but that's the past and you need to let it go. I don't care because I am just happy that I have you now. So is that all too much to ask of any guy. I don't think so. Why should I lower my standards if it will just cause conflict and cause me pain and heart break. I don't care if I have to wait a long time for that person because I would rather keep my heart in as little pieces as possible. The progress of our relationship will be fun, seriousness, romance, then marriage and then all the rest of the good stuff. I want someone who is on the same page as me on being focused on God and being Godly which is the way to understand me.