Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Messy rooms
Unfinished tasks
Poor food choices
Have me
At my knees

School is almost
At its end
With joyful
Summer plans

Flowers blooming
Cool breeze blowing
Warm sunny days
Tests awaiting

Everywhere I look
I cannot help
But to see
Joyful expressions

Friends and weather
Happy couples
Yet this one poor soul
Has no peace

Sitting by the pond
Reading silently
Keeping her mind
From all sad thoughts
That might
Torment her

Oh wonderous God
Whatever it is
That you have in store
For this one soul
Then let me
Have the strength
To face adversity
And to get through
The remainder
Of this school year!

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Soo this has been one of the best Easter weekends that I have had. I really can't remember having a better Easter weekend, in fact, I can't remember how was my last Easter holiday. All I remember is early childhood, how we would have easter egg hunts with them. That's the only really good Easter that I can remember. Easter egg hunts...yup nothing else as exciting as this weekend. I guess in a way I was reborn. From the drab and most regretable years of my life which were a good chunk, I have been reborn to the person I am now.

So to summarize my awesome Easter weekend:
Friday-went to eat w/ Aleisha at the Thai House cuz I was sick of Lapo and then went salsa dancing which was a lot better than last time I went, definitely got a lot more dancing done and even learned a few new moves

Saturday-woke up and had workday, hard work but had good company, afterwards went out of town with friends to Ruidoso where we once again had good non-Lapo food and then I got to be a child and swing on the swings and play hide and seek, then went to watch Ice Age 2 which was really funny and definitely a good movie, lastly we played card games which I believe I won both of them except for Omaha, and finally journalled before going to bed.

Sunday- I woke up early three times and third time I got up and checked the time to find out it was 8am. Way early...earlier than I thought I would wake up but it was so nice waking up like that. I got up brushed my teeth, did my makeup, and then checked on my friends sound asleep in the other room, so I ended up reading my book which I started/left off at a really good chapter and soon I was enthralled in the story once again. Coincidently/ironically/ oddly enough, where i started seemed to parallel some of my present thoughts of the time. Once everyone else was up and somewhat nourished with our nacho cheese breakfast, we were off to church for Easter mass. Being in a different church I wasn't used to was definitely interesting, but I still felt comfortable because ...I really can't explain. There was just this feeling of mysticism but I prefer to say it was a feeling of God's presence, of being a part of something very special. When it came time to do the Easter blessing of water, we were asked to bless each other instead of having the priest bless us all at the same time. The feelings were warm and there definitely was love, and the people were truly devout people. I guess it is good to go out of your comfort zones from time to time because only then can you truly appreciate what God gives you. After Mass, we went shopping down mid-town, I got myself a cute pair of turquoise star earings and a small turqouise cross neclace for 10 dollars. After strolling down and browsing through a few stores (because a couple were closed for Easter holiday) and spotting some cute finds but over our budget, we finally got hungry and decided to head for lunch. However, we were out of luck because our first two choices for lunch were closed, italian and a casual tea lunch restaurant. Soo in the end, we settled for Chinese. We were afraid it would be closed but it wasn't. Later on I remembered the practicality of the Chinese people. That got me to thinking about a Christmas story and my friend Marco's statement, Jews and Chinese tend to support each other on these things since they don't observe our holidays. Then I thought, it would be something to combine Jewish frugality and knowledge with Chinese practicallity and their knowledge as well. There is no doubt in my mind that they would get a lot accomplished. So anyhow, the Chinese food was excellent, priced fair and even though we got stuffed, we still had extra food to spare. It was also great because we got to share each other's food...I believe this is the Asian way of eating, rather than have seperate plates handed out with food, you get platters of your food and everyone gets how ever much they want and what they want. It is a very practical thing to do because it helps to keep people from overserving and having food go to waste in a sense. After eating, the plan was to go hiking or to the park again but we were soo stuffed that it was decided we would just go back to my friend's house and take a 30 min nap. The afternoon sun really was that enjoyable. I, however, didn't take a nap because I was reading my book once again. Yup, its a pretty good book I tell you. Have I mentioned I have become fond of books. So afterwards, by the time we were all packed up and ready to go on our hike, it had gotten late in the evening (6pm) and so it was too late to go hiking not because it was getting dark but because we had to get back to campus by 8-9pm. I got back in time to make it to our sunday devotional time which I didn't want to miss. It was a good one that once again the scriptures gave me some insight to my faith and made me more strong in it. Always a plus.

Yup, a pretty excellent and inspiring Easter weekend. I definitely was able to get in touch with God this weekend. His presence was felt throughout. I was even able to cheer up my friend from Colorado online afterwards because she had had a bad Easter holiday. It is always nice helping out friends in that way. I enjoy it. I also believe that I am on the right track. I know I have a passion for my major and my minor is definitely still good. I also know that this is my calling because even in my successful vision of life, I still see God in my life, working through me, to get much good done in the world. I also see how this correlates back to my childhood motives and dreams. It really is amazing. Once again, I can't stop praising God and his amazing grace "that saved a wretch like me".

Friday, April 07, 2006

Procrastination...soo hard to not do. I procrastinated all day today. But today has past and I am moving on. I had volunteered for a position of the Stations of the Cross at Mass, it was a serious thing, but we had fun still (me and the other people who volunteered). After the run through, we had some really awesome cheese and potato soup that filled me up so good! Because I hadn't eaten all day, that soup tasted delicious. Afterwards I came back to my room and....can't remember what I did...surf internet mainly. Then my friend Vicki called me and she said she was bored as well and then our friend called her and said he was bored as well...So I concluded that tonite was a boring nite, just a nite that boredom was abounding. So she came over to my room and we watched a 13 going to 30. OH my gosh, I love that movie. It was soo cute and okay so it was a chick flick but you know I am a girl and yes I so wished I had the closet she had (it was huge and had the best shoe collection ever). I really needed to watch that movie again, because it just so uplifted my spirit after the longest week of my life. Let's just hope that motivation helps me get over my procrastination. Speaking of which...
Procrastinating on my portfolio...well thats going to stop I am going to work on it this weekend for sure!!! and thats why I feel like I so love my major. I love art! I love to draw and designing houses and such. Well I love it to death. This is like my passion, my purpose in life. I want to do so much. I want to help repair the slums of cities. Help the less fortunate who can't afford a good house. I love to help people and this is how I know I can, because this is what I feel God called me to do. I can feel it in myself, this great potential that God gave me! I just know it! I feel like everything I dream and hope for will come true, even about my love life. I just really have to work for it, and I am and will continue to do so to it. I just can't believe how truly blessed I am. I know I have said that before but God just never stops to amaze me! From what I used to be to where I am now. Sure I may not be miss super hot chick but I am not a stupid girl in the words of pink. I am the girl with ambition, determination, charisma, wisdom, intellegence (though not a genius but that doesn't matter), and genuine compassion for others. That is a lot that most people don't have. I mean how many people know for sure what career/major they want to pursue? How many people have as many good friends as me and as old as middle school all through high school and college? Including some of the best best friends that anyone could ever ask for. Just so blessed. This movie has cleared up a lot of things for me that I didn't realize I needed to think about. All in all, today was a pretty good day despite having a bad start (i.e. I overslept my alarm again and missed archery and tennis...uggh). I just have to keep praising my God. I still will continue to pray for some guidance and divine motivation to get my grades up and be more responsible and hopefully to get the job as a CAPS algebra tutor.
PS. I also have my dance mojo going and would really like to learn how to dance better. I have to prospective people in mind that I am thinking of asking to be my dance partners for the remainder. Both love to dance (i.e. are danceaholics), and so they dance well and very often. I just am not sure who is the better to ask. I shall leave God to give me the "divine push" to the guy I need to ask. Ohh, how I love to dance. I think next time I have spare time after class to dance, I will just dance by myself and ask Isaac to help me with something when I need it. Makes sense. Well I am still planning on going to Cornell for graduate school. I just know thats the place I want to go. It's my newest ambition or goal if you will. My present goal is to bring up my grades and get into the school of architecture. I will need all of your prayers for this. Prayer...yup thats the thing I need most right now.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Soo despite the fact that I have literally dug myself into a big hole which I will have extreme difficulty to get out, I am determined to keep on smiling. I have a good long enough paper/investigative report due tomorrow which I haven't started and I have to write an abstract with it too. Uggh. Then I have an astronomy test on thursday which is alright but still just another bummer. I have a test/quiz/paper assigned to me on Thursday as well which means...busy weekend if not week. Not to mention all these meetings I am having throughout the week. AYAYA. I want to hide myself from the world and completely give up on school. Time for me to start planning my days. I had a strange morning as well. I woke up on time to my cd, this morning but was so tired that I decided to stay in bed until an hour before. Fell asleep woke up a few minutes later and could have sworn my clock said I was late to my class by half an hour. Wake up again to my cell phone going off and see that I woke in time to get ready for class. The message left on my cell says "my eldest son is sick with a 104 temp fever and needs to be picked up" what?!?! I get to class to find out about our quiz being assigned only thinking that it had been already signed last thursday. Ehehe. I think I was also pointed out to be in class or something. Didn't understand what the TA told me. I didnt quite get the Rumba in dance class today but I guess I had fun. Skipped Astronomy because I was tired. I have been in a state of perpetual tiredness. I did get sleep last nite though perhaps I should have gotten more sleep. I want to go to swing dancing to nite but seems like I may not be able to afford too. I may also be soon to get brain cancer from talking on the cell phone with my best friend for hours almost every day. I had from noon till present to start my research work/paper but what did I do. I procrastinated. What else is new? However, as much as I want to despair and give up, I cannot and so I will be off to the library to get this gosh darn paper done. Uggh, I hate myself nonetheless now for this. I don't know if my sickness has caused me to get behind more or if it was just me. More than like just myself. Like I said...procrastination will be the death of me. I need to get my life together before it really does kill me. Which means, I must leave the blog. Byes.