Friday, December 30, 2005

New Year's is something oddly strange this year...
If you think about its the day for a new year but only because the earth starts another cycle around the sun neh? However, as students and i guess most adults, we actually follow a rather different calendar than the calenders we use. We follow a bi-calender or even a quad-calendar of the seasons more than anything. And so even though New Year's Day marks a new really doesnt have that much meaning because really we don't start something new or feel any different where as each change of the seasons there is some difference felt.
On that note, I have had a recent shock to my system. I realize now how much people are scared of change because even though I have accepted change..I didn't notice until one change that was pretty eminent from the start now has become more solidified. For more on that matter, you can talk to me personally because this is something I can't go into much detail.
Anyhow that shock has also disrupted some of my stabilities and feel pretty much unstable now. Of course I am speaking metaphorically and its amazing the power of metaphors but yah I guess it is expected that I should be unstable. Don't know how my brother will handle this "earthquake" but that really is something I cannot say.
So this new year's (and right now I don't care about grammar so please excuse it) I feel has somehow become that much more of new beginning than anything else. I will definitely be counting and praising God for my blessings. I don't know what my new year's resolution is except I now have more reasons than one to continue to strive for my goals, dreams, and aspirations and live with courage,hope,honesty, etc than before. I feel also guilty for not realizing those things sooner but I guess it couldn't be helped. One thing I will say is that I will need all my friends this year to help me get through this. It really is something turbulent and scary...atleast for me. So I give much love to my friends because they mean the world to me and I can never really show how much I appreciate you/them all!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Soo...its been 5 days since I have arrived home. Things are better. I am trying to be less angry with them for not understanding me. Yet I know it will be hard for any of them except my brother to understand me but he has been through the same as me. Ahh..I love my brother...he's the only one who understands me the most. He is too serious though to understand my carefree and spirited ways. My mother is too conservative to understand my liberal ways, she's also too scared of me becoming this radical liberal because of my friends but I think that you have to see or experience everything before you can form an opinion. Thats why I got so upset when my mom badmouthed my anime/manga hobby because she heard someone say it gives kids bad messages, when in fact, God has spoken to me through them. She reminds me of my church and why it bans certain books *ahem*The DiVinci Code*cough* because they are scared of people takign them seriously. My dad is a realist and so he always worries about the future and keeps telling me what is my plan but all this time really I have been depending on God to guide me to where I should be and so far he hasn't led me astray. If you think about, almost all my major decisions as a "major" have been made haphazardly to some extent. Ha. This is also a bit why me and my brother don't get along all that well, but I think he understands why. He has been there with me through the most tortorous times I have had and he sees (I think) the strength it takes to stay so positive and optomistic and still be able to laugh. I just wish they would understand me more but oh well.
*sighs* Being stuck home, not that I don't like being home, isn't all that great. I like to think of myself as an eagle and imagine myself with wings, because I feel like a bird caged in when I can't go outside and have fun. It's quite muffling to my spirits so instead I have divulged myself into books and listening to music while I read. *sighs* I love reading! Haha...when I was little I used to not get why reading was so fun but then again nobody ever introduced me to such good books as the Chronicles of Narnia..I actually discovered them through a book club/group that I was in in this chat forum. Well I haven't been to that forum in a while. It just doesn't interest me that much but sometimes it is still fun to go and talk to people with interests like me. Eeek..its almost Christmas...and I am wishing for a white Christmas here at home.

Friday, December 16, 2005

I recieved an A- in my World Arch class! Awesomeness! Now I am just waiting on my basic japanese class. My Japanese teacher also emailed me back saying that she did have to delay posting the grades because of a seriously sick student. She told me I had an A- in that class thought. Sweet! So that means I have received all As in my classes except in dumb Calculus.
This makes me want to go out and jump and down for excitement!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Can I just say my God is an awesome God!
I just found out that I passed my Calculus class with a C+ ...thats better than I did in my Trig class. I also got an A+ in my English 102 class which means my portfolio was freaking awesome and I managed to impress that darn portfolio comittee! Hip hip hurrah! Hip hip Hurray!Hip hip hurraaaay!
I can breathe easier now. I just hope I did well in my last two classes which I should but since I may have missed one too many classes in them...I dont know. We will see how that goes. For now I will continue to celebrate my recent grade additions!
Who ever heard of winter cleaning? Why must I clean my room today? I am hyper and yet I am not using this spare energy to clean my room. *Sighs*...why am I sighing?...Oh yah because I don't want to clean my room and I know I have to. Darn..apparently I still have yet to grow up and be responsible, but I dont want to grow up ..I want to stay a kid at heart atleast in the good way.

In other news, I turned in my calculus materials and English book and recieved 110 dollars! So I am no longer completely broke except in my bank account. I also have yet to get a job and doesn't appear I will have a job soon. Life has yet to regain its order for me. Well, I am glad though that I will be able to see my brother atlast! I haven't seen him in so long. I am going to try and weird him out like only a sister can, hehehe! It will be hard and awkward though with my parents there but I won't let that stop me from having my fun with my brother.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Snowflakes and shopping bags...
What do they have in common?
Christmas time!
I love Christmas because
Since I am a nostalgic person
I love the sense of good memories flooding back
I don't know what exactly it is
About this time of year
Except that my heart seems to grow
As big as the Grinch's did
On Christmas day.

Heh...why am I even writing this blog in poem format? I dont know. I have lost my mind. I think my attention span has decreased because I was talking to my friend on the phone recently and I started playing with these magnets I found and when I saw that two magnets were repelling each other...I was like hey I remember learning about that law of (insert title). Heh, I am such a nerd. I love to learn and I don't mind my friends explaining things they learned especially not when it's a certain friend (looks at friends' faces with a smirk).
Anyhow the semester is over and it feels wierd. I couldn't sleep last night for the first time even though I didn't have anything to do. I was just laying there on my bed I can't believe the fall semester is over and just reflecting back on the semester and what great times I have had. At the same time, I was also anxious for tomorrow to come even though I really didnt have anything planned for tomorrow. Well, I did do some more Christmas shopping and now I have no more money left in my savings account...waaa. I spent over 200 dollars on presents for friends and I am still not done buying presents for all my friends. I know its crazy and that I really don't have to buy them presents but I really want to. I really need to get a job. I asked at the Papergami store down central (I love that store) if they would be hiring any time soon and they said no. Darn..I really wanted to work there. They have such lovely papers there. Ahh, I love doing crafts. I am soo going to learn to knit this semester and then Maggie has decided that she wants to learn to cook as well so ...we are going to learn to cook! Hurrah!
Well, all in all, I think this will be a good Christmas break! I feel so blessed to have such awesome friends and I just can't help but sing praise (and I do mean sing praise because I will randomly break out singing whatever I am thinking) to God for all He has given me. I can't wait for what He has in hold for me in the future (grammar?).

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Yay! It snowed last night and I got to see the actual snow falling because I was up all night typing my blasted world arch. final. I finally got it done and now I can rest somewhat easy...atleast until grades get posted. Swing dancing here I come. Too bad the snow had to melt somewhat. I just want to have a white christmas where you can actually play with and on the snow. Is that soo much to ask for? I guess so. Anyhow I took my celebration nap as soon as I got back from turning in my paper. Now all I need to do is clean my room....uggh its soo messy, I don't know how I managed to live and study in this room at all.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Christmas is here! Woohoo! However this one last hurdle I must jump over is way too high and I am too exhausted to focus well on getting over it. I miss my home and I need my sleep yet here I am typing this blog instead of focusing on that hurdle. Uggh...what is wrong with me? I just am avoiding it, I guess. Well, I will try hard once this is over. I will celebrate tomorrow with swingdancing! Yes and maybe even some Christmas shopping...which means for my friends that they get presents. Yes, I love to shop for myself and others ...the giving bug has been living in me for a while now...even if I do waste all my money left on presents...I think it is worth it. Afterall, I love my friends dearly and want to show them how much I appreciate them. Ohh...but how I must overcome this hurdle first. Well my first blog. If you must know more about me ..then you can check me out on myspace but that will be another blog. Toodles.