Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Soo...its been 5 days since I have arrived home. Things are better. I am trying to be less angry with them for not understanding me. Yet I know it will be hard for any of them except my brother to understand me but he has been through the same as me. Ahh..I love my brother...he's the only one who understands me the most. He is too serious though to understand my carefree and spirited ways. My mother is too conservative to understand my liberal ways, she's also too scared of me becoming this radical liberal because of my friends but I think that you have to see or experience everything before you can form an opinion. Thats why I got so upset when my mom badmouthed my anime/manga hobby because she heard someone say it gives kids bad messages, when in fact, God has spoken to me through them. She reminds me of my church and why it bans certain books *ahem*The DiVinci Code*cough* because they are scared of people takign them seriously. My dad is a realist and so he always worries about the future and keeps telling me what is my plan but all this time really I have been depending on God to guide me to where I should be and so far he hasn't led me astray. If you think about, almost all my major decisions as a "major" have been made haphazardly to some extent. Ha. This is also a bit why me and my brother don't get along all that well, but I think he understands why. He has been there with me through the most tortorous times I have had and he sees (I think) the strength it takes to stay so positive and optomistic and still be able to laugh. I just wish they would understand me more but oh well.
*sighs* Being stuck home, not that I don't like being home, isn't all that great. I like to think of myself as an eagle and imagine myself with wings, because I feel like a bird caged in when I can't go outside and have fun. It's quite muffling to my spirits so instead I have divulged myself into books and listening to music while I read. *sighs* I love reading! Haha...when I was little I used to not get why reading was so fun but then again nobody ever introduced me to such good books as the Chronicles of Narnia..I actually discovered them through a book club/group that I was in in this chat forum. Well I haven't been to that forum in a while. It just doesn't interest me that much but sometimes it is still fun to go and talk to people with interests like me. Eeek..its almost Christmas...and I am wishing for a white Christmas here at home.

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