Sunday, February 24, 2008

A Good End to a Bad Month

Well, despite some crazy days and extreme business, I managed to make it through with enough sleep to keep up with my work though not my reading. Intervarsity Spring Training came and went and it was all pretty fun and definitely good. I made new friends from NM Tech as well as got to see some old friends. I have to say I love those Techies as well as my home dogs from UTEP. I learned a lot to keep me going for the rest of the semester and I definitely felt God's presence this weekend at Training. Though I was a bit distracted sometimes by my hair or scarf or just plain distracted by other tangent thoughts.
One of those thoughts was just that I really like those Techies and if any of them were ever to ask me out, I would say sure. They are all just so great fun and so crazy and weird and smart that it is enough to keep me entertained to say the least. There are even some pretty good looking fellows among them and they are decent boys. Boys nonetheless but boys still but I am perfectly ok with them being boys. I like that about them in fact. I appreciate our differences and I don't expect them to be my ideal guy. My ideal has become more of a catch all than a standard. What can I say, I just want a guy who makes me laugh and can hold a conversation and isn't serious. I don't even mind short guys either. As long as we can have fun, I would be happy. I know I shouldn't think of every guy I meet and like as a potential boyfriend and that I shouldn't focus on that but sometimes it would just be nice to have someone I can hang out with atleast most of the time or when I am lonely and bored. That's all I ask for really from a guy. It is my one wish that I would want granted. I don't really want anything else from life. I am content at where I am, though there are a few things I would change if I could but they aren't major. Mainly I just wish I could go back and tell myself that I will go far and make many new friends and be content and be myself so that I wouldn't have to go through my early school years so gloomy and depressed and lonely. I really have to thank God for getting me out of that whole. He has done so many good things in my life that I owe him everything!
All in all, it was a good weekend. I believe I did pretty good in my Modern Easter Civ. test on Friday. This Tues. I have a test in art history and wed. I have a presentation in my honors class. I think I am doing good in my classes, not the best I could do but I am slowly learning to manage my time and prioritize my tasks.
At home things are starting to look up. My dad seems to be learning that he isn't perfect and has begun to improve himself. On the other hand, my mother is now too stubborn to change her flaws as well. She keeps thinking that it is up to us to decide about the divorce matters but it isn't. I didn't like being put on the spot last weekend by her. That is her decision and not mine. I don't like it but I also think it would be better. This whole divorce thing is starting to bother me more and more as it gets closer. I just don't know how to feel about it. Maybe if I called Joey, he could help me out since his parents recently got divorced. It would be nice to have someone to talk to who has gone through similar experience of divorce in the family. Prayers for more understanding in my family as well as that my semester gets better would be greatly appreciated.
Well, here's to hoping things look up and allergies don't flare up. Ganbate!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

What would a Russian leader do? Part Two:

A month into the new year, a month of bad luck, a month of busy-ness...

So school is good, just hard to keep up with all my reading but good nonetheless. I am enjoying work and confirming the fact that architecture will always be my passion no matter what. I just don't know if I will be cut out for foreign service. Don't get me wrong, I like doing clerical work for my supervisor at the school of architecture and planning but as I pass by the arch. students' projects and work in the comp. lab, my heart just wishes I could be one of them. However, I am too distracted to focus on architecture at the moment. Foreign languages and art nibble at my mind and I need to work on those two before I can focus on architecture. Until I get those out of the way, I won't be able to devote all my time and energy to architecture especially when doing overnighters. I want to be able to sit down and patiently work on my models and schematics for architecture and currently I cannot.
Secondly, this being the month of February and it nearing spring, I have found that I still haven't met anyone who would be interested in dating me, at least for a month. I mean I do put myself out there but I am not going to throw myself at every cute guy I meet. While my S. Texas friend opened my mind to dating, it didn't necessarily help with my current situation that much. The funny thing is that while I have increased my number of guy friends, I still have no potential dates. The year started well, with a potential one but apparently he was pursuing more than one girl and the other one won over me so there went that date. He still is my friend but the funny thing is he doesn't bother to call me even when he got a new phone. My other guy friend who seemed a potential date, I was told was not a good match for me because he wasn't the greatest person and very much sexual (something I am not sure I am ready for). Funny enough both were long distance but I didn't mind that. I like the idea of dating people from other places. It is part of the wanting to learn and experience more and wanting to travel around. Well, if anything I am not going to rush the process, I am going to wait for God's timing whenever that is.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Nobody is human
But if you are going to do something
Then you better do it
And do it right
And not half-done

So I don't know what to think of our government anymore. On the one hand, it is alot better than an oligarchy or monarchy but on the other hand, it is not a democracy. I think I understand what the Russian revolutionary leader must have been you pick either a crazy power-hungry person to lead a country or do you pick the one that is too liberal and easily influenced to lead? That is always the question of the elections because the truth is that sometimes neither of the candidates have what it takes to lead or at least don't focus on what is truly important. I mean we are all human here.

That leads me to another point. I wish I could sue the person who mapped out the streets of albuquerque. I mean what is the deal with the inconsistencies and the odd intersections and the steep ramps. Seriously, why is it so hard to develop a good street system. Now I know that cities grow and change but the municipal govt. is still in control of street development. So why did they come up with such crazy street designs. Seriously, my hometown had much better city streets than here and we have both a mountain and a military base in the middle of the city so why is it so hard to have consistent streets here in Albuquerque!?!?

As a a result of bad city planning, I have gotten into two accidents. One a year ago and another just yesterday. The funny thing is that both times I wasn't completely at fault because it was poor city design involved. The first one the light was nearly a block away and right in front of a highway on-ramp so it is hard to spot right away. The second accident was because a darn school bus blocked my view of the stop sign and since the streets variate from every other street to have stop signs I figured I had the right away. Both times I took precautions and was not speeding! Still, I have the impression that other people won't believe me even though in both accidents, there were people who said that those intersections were problematic. So I am not alone in thinking that this city needs better street planning. Now I know that to redesign the whole city street scheme is unrealistic, I just want to point out that in this case I wasn't at fault. I wish I could sue the city for their complex street schematics because it is crazy. I am half-tempted to call a random lawyer and see what they can do for me. Even if I don't I still have a court date where I can contest my tickets.
One other thing that got me annoyed was that they gave me a ticket for not having a NM driver's license. Maybe because I had a local address they thought I was a resident, but the truth is that I am just now establishing my residency after being in the dorms for 3 years and my Tx license doesn't expire until 2010 anyhow. To get a driver's license in NM, you apparently have to go through this whole dwi program which I hear doesn't even work. I mean people will continue to do what they do no matter how many times you tell them not to. It is not like teens aren't aware of the fact that they put other people in danger when they drink and drive but they still take that risk because i guess they think they are invincible. Well, anything important in life is always a a gamble and the fact is that unless you are extremely lucky, you will always have unfortunate results in your lifetime. Nobody makes no mistakes, because we aren't perfect. This is a fact of life. I don't know but I wouldn't want to live in the Burque after graduation simply because I hate the street design. I prefer cities that are better designed.

Well according to history, every democracy that has ever existed only has worked up to a number of years and we are reaching that point pretty soon. I mean this make sense because the fact is that we are human and we err and sin and thus bring doom upon ourselves - not God. We like to blame others for our actions, we like to make ourselves feel better by reading and gossiping about the problems of others but we fail to look at ourselves first. We keep expecting others to change before us but we don't want to change ourselves first. So how are we expected to get along. I am in agreement with my friend that this nation is very spoiled and because of that we are going downhill. I mean I am sure if we worked hard to be independent instead of having everything handed to us on a silver spoon - this nation would be in a better place/situation that it is now. I know I am not perfect but I also accept that in others. This world after all is gray and not purely black and white and there is no easy answer to anything important in life. There is always something else involved. The problem is that the insurance system and the justice system seem to think in black and white. You are either guilty or not and that is true but if we judged everyone on that system, then every single person on this planet is guilty because we have all sinned in one way or the other. The only difference is the effects those sin have on people - mortal sins:kill and all the rest subversively damage others in ways that sometimes can't be seen. Now I am not trying to bash society, there are good people and good things from this society. I am just saying that we need to stop judging people period unless of course you are an actual judge. I am saying this world is gray and thus should think what that means about everything else. There are some evil people and there are some saints but those are rare and far in between. The rest are human.