Wednesday, July 18, 2007

So this summer has been pretty good as per a job but there is still something missing. I have been missing my friend from New Jersey as I haven't heard from him in a while. I still haven't been paid and I am still scared about what is going to happen this new school year and where I am headed and what classes and what not. This time around I have good friends and as always my God to help me through these difficult lonely and scary times; He gives me strength to carry on because I don't know how else I would. I think I like this friend from New Jersey; he is a great and cool guy and we get along well. He is Catholic, so I am glad about that becaut se if he didn't believe in Christ it would not be good, but he has been out of reach all of July and I am missing his voice terribly. Adding to that, my feelings for my last crush have resurfaced. I don't think I will ever be able to overcome those feelings for my last crush but I can move on. I respect my crush's decision and understand it whole heartedly but just the same I have no power over my feelings; only my actions. So I am saying that I am willing to move on but there are somethings I don't want to forget. It has been a lonely July.
As for work, I think me and my friend James are just going to be friends because I really am not that attracted to him. I only started because my co-worker Laura kept hinting at me about James. Now don't get me wrong, James is a great guy but there is no chemistry between us. We get along fine but it just wouldn't work out to go out and I don't want to ruin our friendship. Besides right now, it is hard enough dealing with feelings for both my former crush and my friend from New Jersey. I feel so torn apart but I really just want to feel loved and happy, but when it comes to love - nothing ever is simple.

No comments: