Friday, August 11, 2006

That is what I seek most in life at this point. However, it seems that life keeps trying to build up that wall that I have destroyed. My father and brother continue to seek to tie me down with words that hurt and condescending attitudes. When all I have done is really seek to be a pleasing person to my friends and family and to trust the Lord with all my anxieties of the future and present. He has not let me down but this continuous disapproval from my own kin makes it harder for me to succeed. I struggle day and night to stay optomistic and positive, to not let them get to me, but it still hurts when you wish with all your heart still that they would be proud of you. They see me not for who I am but for my flaws. Now more than ever my heart is worn and my mind bogged down by the pressures and anxieties exerted on me every return trip I take home. My only comforts are my mother, friends and above all the confidence God has bestowed upon me as well as His love. I will not give up nor listen to those who seek only to elevate themselves by abusing me with their words. I will hold fast to my Lord and do my best to please Him, and I shall continue to work hard towards my dreams.

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