Wednesday, January 20, 2010

So lately I find myself wishing more and more to be as seperate from my family as possible. I cannot take my parents anymore either one. They both are refusing to let me go and be my own and as a result I am wanting to shock them into it. How should I shock them you ask?
I think a bit of rebellious liberalness and such is under order. Images of vaudeville circuses and venetian carnivales come to mind and my imagination flourishes with such unusual appearances with their audacity and obnoxiousness as well as superfluousness.
In my love of art and life, I appreciate all things even if they may strike the conservative as repulsive and offensive but if they be so, the more I like it. Though there is a limit to just how much of it is; but for me, it is all about being unique and nonconformist and rebelling against society and the rules and regulations imposed within it.
I think God created a world where we were not to fall under legalistic conformity but to celebrate differences and uniqueness, to laugh and cry all at the same time, but we are so stubborn to change and to things that are comfortable, that to see the unusual causes us to be defensive and to close ourselves to true freedom.

How should I show my mother that she cannot keep seeing me as an innocent person who is easily stepped on but by being as contrary to her wishes. To go the extreme may seem well extreme but when a person is set in their mind even the obvious may not be obvious and you have to be blatantly obnoxious to snap them out. I love her but she is so closed minded and I refuse to follow her judgmental personality and be open to change and the unexpected. Perhaps its not me but it may also be that I just need to step out of my own comfort zone and be free of the fear of judgement and say the heck with it, I will be who I am and I don't care what you think.

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