Saturday, April 26, 2008

On Dating, Love, and Life Part II

So I got to thinking about relationships, and it came to mind that most of my friends that I know who are in a relationship got into their relationship not by some fluke or chance but because the guy pursued them until they finally decided to give the guy a chance. Those who did that have fallen deeply for the guy that at one time they didn't even consider a potential date. For a guy to persistently pursue a girl, I think, speaks a lot of the guy's character and how much he likes that person. I mean he doesn't just give up and decide to wait for another girl he likes to show up in his life. It seems he perceives that person as someone unique and truly loves that person. It also shows that he is willing to work at something and doesn't give up easily when all hope seems lost. He works at it and that speaks a lot to me as it probably does to her. I don't know about others but being pursued so much by someone who we may only see as a friend makes us feel like they really really are in love with us (whether or not the love is actual is not important - it is the feeling and the actions that are important at this stage in my mind); makes us feel like we are a princess and they are our knights.
The second thing I notice is that you don't have to be attracted to someone immediately. In fact, what truly attracts me to someone is when they are true to themselves and they are passionate about their interests. When these interests and their passion about them get your attention that is when the true attraction forms and no matter what you look like, you truly shine beautifully or handsomely. I also don't think it matters if you feel that you aren't helping that person grow because you truly don't know at least not until you invest time in that person or relationship. When you get to know the other person better, sometimes subconsciously you do help them. He may not notice at first or even mention it to you but it happens because thats what happens when you invest in others. You may not see the fruits of your seeds immediately but they are there. As both grow and grow closer to God as a result, the bond or the string of destiny becomes tight. That bond is what forms love.
That bond or connection is what I want. I want to find that other person who knows me sometimes more than I know myself. I want to find my other half so to speak, the yang to my yin. I don't believe there is only one other but also don't believe that just any person can be that because it has to be someone who is willing to invest in me as I invest in them and is willing to work hard. There are many fish in the sea but few harvesters. I seek not a fish but a harvester. I seek that person who is willing to stand out and seek his full potential.
I believe that God has a special person waiting for me. I also believe that he isn't just going to hand him over on a platter but that I also have to work to find him. I believe he gives us clues about to whom we are compatible with so to speak and it is up to us to seize the opportunity. For the guys, that means pursuing the person until the other decides to give you a chance or tells you to back off. If the person does give you a chance, then you don't stop there. In fact, you never stop working. You persevere despite all obstacles if you truly love someone. For us girls, it just means making the most of the time with that other person. It means trying to form a worthwhile friendship of truly caring for that person. It means getting to know the guy before you decide that you like him. It doesn't mean pursuing them as in flirting with them or making the first move. No, that has to be done by the guy - the first move that is. You have to let him know your feelings and let him respond. The first move is that response but he has to make a clear response. Once he does, then you can move in whatever way that you feel appropriate.
There has to be reciprocation in my mind for a relationship to be equal. Otherwise, then there is no communication and no balance - without either, there is room for a lot of chaos. The two opposites become unstable and may eventually lead to one with more power than the other. Relationships should always be equal - two trees growing together not one tree leaning on the other tree. The DNA strand is intertwined but not tangled...think about it.
I believe that true love is possible just as I believe in the good of people because I believe that through God all things are possible. If it were not because of God rescuing me, I wouldn't be able to be saying those things. Therefore, they are not my words but God speaking through me. For I thought I was impossible to be reached, I thought I wasn't an important person and that I was a failure, I was told I was weak and naive, but God taught me that I was strong and resilient and wise. When I thought I had become invisible and no one really cared for me, He came through for me. He noticed my pain and reached out without putting me down, without telling me to change,He just cared for me.
I believe in the good because I know it is only because of the world that we put on our masks and become selfish. That is what the world taught us, taught me. We don't do things because we are evil but because we are taught that if we show vulnerability we won't survive. We are taught to fight fire with fire instead of water. I don't believe that is how you should solve conflict. To resolve conflict with accusations is to jump into a fight without knowing the other's weakness. It is foolish. It is fighting yourself and it creates a pattern of tension and hurt.
Even if you tell me that I am naive, I tell you I am not because I can see through the masks, I was there, I nearly became numb like everyone else as well as mean. Perhaps that is why most people are sheep because they were tired of fighting and decided to let others live for them. They died inside not through their own fault for who chooses to die willingly. Rather we die because we cannot deal with our pain and we just want peace. We are so quick to point out others faults and reprimand them but deny that we have our own faults. We cannot show that we are human and we have also made mistakes. So we isolate others by doing so and by isolating we slowly suffocate them. Therefore I refuse to be the fool who is quick to jump into a fight that they know you can't win but rather be the wise old person who confronts the situation but doesn't join the situation. This is what God has taught me.

Now playing: Superchick - Pure, We Live, Stand in the Rain
via FoxyTunes

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