Thursday, April 17, 2008

When the fog clears up...

I ran
Even though I couldn't see where I was going
I only knew that I was moving forward
As the scenery around me changed
From the little I could see

Still I ran
Because I knew
I had nothing left to lose
I knew the sun would come out
And the fog would clear up

I ran
Knowing that at the end
I would feel better about myself
Be in better shape
And have accomplished
What I set out to do

I ran and ran
My feet got heavy
My breathing more difficult
The wind felt stronger
But still I couldn't stop
Even if I were to collapse
I had to keep moving forward

I wasn't alone
He was there
Confronting my fears
Helping me overcome them
Encouraging me on
Never giving up on me
And I was glad
That he was with me

So we ran
Knowing that I wasn't fit
We kept each other in check
We ran through the wind and cold
Breaking down our own walls
Overcoming our own obstacles
And then finishing
With a smile on our faces

So lately I feel like I have been in a fog all because of a paper. I couldn't finish it or even start it. I had a prompt to work off of but when doing research on the topic I came up blank, to make matters worse, some of the research was social psychology - not my forte and generally hard to read anyhow because of all the jargon with any of the medical fields. I wanted to work hard on it but I couldn't. I had other things on my mind like where I was going to be living in the summer and next school year as well as trying to fight off other temptations that kept trying to distract me. I really need to stop doing homework late at night because I can't think or function well at that time anyhow, only reading can be done so late because they don't require too much mental activity and you can do that in bed and help you fall asleep. Anyhow so I think one of my new resolutions is to get homework done early at least before 10pm and if it can't be done then, then I would rather wake up early and work on any hw not completed. I know that will be hard but then it will also help me get used to waking up early.

Speaking of getting up earlier, I have lately found more motivation to do so. I just started a running routine today thanks to my friend Clayton. It was voluntary but I had no idea what I was getting myself into - oh well, no one every said it would be easy to get fit - but atleast this way I am not alone and it feels great knowing someone believes you can do more than you thought you could. It would be great to be able to get up early and run without getting tired easily by the next school semester. I also have discovered that a timer on a TV can be very useful. I have managed to set my TV to turn on just after my second alarm goes off so that when I wake up, the talk and the noise of the TV as well as the morning news and Good Morning America will keep me conscious and somewhat motivated to get up early in the morning. I think this is really what I need rather than my alarm because this more movement than just a song or such. It really was nice waking up to the news this morning though I sadly couldn't manage to get breakfast beforehand still - an hour it took to get actual energy and motivation for getting out of bed -_-. The run was great but it did leave me feeling quite exhausted but hey my first run was a mile and a half which isn't bad for my first. Clayton says that I should just try running (even running in place if I have to rest) for 30 min non-stop. So that will be my goal for the fall semester. I like running with him =)!

1 comment:

Kelly said...

1. I am taking social psych this semester, you know. . . .

2. I like the poem, except I felt the part where you said, "be in better shape" in the third stanza was a little weird. It didn't quite fit the rest of the tone for me. Same with the last stanza (the part about being fit). I think maybe part of the reason those two parts were off to me was because you never said who "he" was, and you don't use punctuation; as a result, the first "he" was capitalized, so I assumed you meant God (except you don't capitalize it after that, and then I read the rest of the blog and now I know you mean Clayton).

If I'm not making sense, we can talk about it sometime.